Posted by: yogmoney | June 30, 2009

Peace

Sometimes I open up my laptop and just start writing. Sometimes the things I write make a lot of sense. Other times they don’t.

This one is just for me. I don’t think too many other people will care too much about what I am saying here and that’s ok. This one is for someone who has given me a great gift.

Peace

Something happened.

Something changed along the way.

Certain things became less important than before.

Something in my mind shifted.

It moved in a different direction.

It ceased remembering things that no longer seemed important.

Suddenly.

Clarity, in the midst of a cloudy & drizzly day in Seattle.

I wasn’t meant for this place.

I had made a mistake. Once I got inside and saw the hypocrisy surrounding me I realized that I wanted to be a better man than the people that many have looked up to.

I decided to let go of what once was a dream because it wasn’t a dream at all.

It was not what it seemed to be.

Liars surrounded me.

I learned.

Sometimes the things you fool yourself to believe in let you down.

Or, they can point you in a new direction.

Clarity.

I was running.

I had been running for a long time.

Restless and unable to find peace, I was.

Suddenly I saw things in a different light.

Allie was there, as she always has been, to show me something new.

She helped me see something I had not seen in a long, long time.

I found it. I had looked for years, searching for it.

Then, in an instant I realized it was right there.

I realized that I hadn’t been looking for it at all.

I had been running away from it.

Peace. A sense of being centered & content.

A realization that it surrounds me every day.

It comes in the form of a slight touch on my hand.

It comes in the smiles of my daughters.

It comes in the falling of leaves, the cool air, the beauty of a quiet walk in the woods with my old dog.

I carry it with me wherever I go.

The voice inside my head reminds me now.

I have found peace for the first time in my life.

I am not going to let it go.

I am lucky, as I have said many times.

I have much.

I lack little.

I have been to wonderful places, met a lot of amazing people and seen a lot of  incredible things.

Still there are many unanswered questions.  This I know for sure.

Some I will get answered, many I won’t.

I have realized that it isn’t the destination that’s important.

It’s not about checking the box, competing with your neighbor or friend.

Yeah, and this is a cliché I know, but I now understand that it is the journey that makes the person, that molds them into something.

I recently said that I had hope, and I do.

I have something else every bit as powerful and beautiful.

I have peace and I am going to fight to hang on to it.

I have peace.

Thanks to you, Allie.

G


Responses

  1. love this! happy for you, man

  2. Funny how these things happen, I was in my early 40’s. It would be a shame to never realize this!
    It can only be learned, never taught.


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